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Karen A.
http://karen.purpledream.com
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Suicide
01/11/03
Something horrible happened today
Is it worth taking my life away?
A relationship torn in two |
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Nothing more that I could do
Get in my car and take a trip
As trails of tears run down my lips
All alone on this winding road
I have nothing more left I want to show
Narrow bridge straight ahead
Soon I'll be left for dead
Close my eyes and press the gas
As thoughts of friends in my mind pass
Fear sinks in as I'm in the air
Crash into the water, pressure hard to bare
If only I knew that would be our last kiss
Life slowly fading, wonder if I'll be missed
Something horrible happened today
Is it worth taking my life away?
Lying in bed I hear my parents fight
Always over who's wrong or right
My mom slams her door, yelling "I want a divorce"
No feelings of regret or any remorse
I just can't handle all this separation
I want out of this situation
Maybe they would me happy without me here
As long as they have there cigarettes and beer
Well, I'll make it easier for them
I was just an accident, not there precious little gem
Hands balled in a tight fist
Razor blade cutting into my wrist
I live my life in pain so a little more will not hurt
Just go ahead and cover me six feet under the dirt
Something horrible happened today
Is it worth taking my life away?
I'm just feeling so depressed
My life is in such a mess
Don't know who my real friends are any more
Don't know what I'm in this world for
I'm just a girl and I have feelings too
But I guess that something you wouldn't have knew
Each morning I wake up with a hangover
Can't remember how it feels to be sober
I was never part of the popular crowd
Always very shy, and scared to be loud
I let the world take me in control
Wanting to be accepted, playing some role
Overdosing on little white pills
Nobody ever understood how it feels
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Easily Wounded
01/14/03
It always seems I wind up struggling
My mind tossing around and juggling
Tripping over my feet, I tumble
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Over hearing something that you mumbled
Trying to convince myself I'm at fault
My soul pressured, feeling under assault
Dare I say that you were all just a lie?
I bound myself to you, but now I wish to untie
All those words were just foolishness
Now I'm longing for at least one feeling of bliss
I can't believe what you say, because I end up in the dark
You always push me down with some smart remark
Feeling lonely, you think you can take advantage
My wounds and bruises cannot be healed with a bandage
Do not think that I don't feel that thorn
The more and more I take, the easier I am torn
Pricking deeper into my transparent skin
This all soon has to come to an end.
There is only so much weight my heart can take
Just a game to you, but my life left at stake.
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Insecure
01/16/03
These fragile bones are soaked with emotions
Seeing the world through a glass mirror reflection
Is it true that what you see is what you get?
Does this person standing here image always fit?
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Or maybe there is something deeper then the deepest scar
Something that has to be seeked beneath the skin afar
Pink cheeks overcome with sorrow and looks of bemused
Why does your beautiful face appear to be so confused?
Never happy with the picture this mirror projects
Wishing that every time you look into it something new will reflect
But to the world you seem flawless, to yourself there are no standards
Infinite roads that never go away, just twisting and turning in a meander
Trying to keep that smile on your face, but you know it's fake
To change the outer appearance for a new, what would it take?
Though you know there is nothing that can be done
For the beauty you behold is a treasure hidden beneath the fading sun.
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Four Broken Pieces
01/19/03 |
I'm under this conviction
Struggling from this never ending addiction
Falling hard on the cement floor
Bleeding and aching, my fragile heart tore
Lying on the ground beating one last beat
My body trembles in a shiver all the way down to my feet
No longer in one piece, separated by all the pain
A feeling of hopelessness, loaded down by all the chains
I would have given you my last breath of air
Though you never gave me a chance, it's so unfair
I would have laid all night by your side
Now unwanted, I'll go back and hide
I would have read your every thought and listened to you
But before long you wanted something new
I would have watched you play for hours
Even when heaven poured down its showers
Instead I messed up everything I ever did or said
Left uncontent, alone, with a broken heart, lifeless - dead. |
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Feeling Hopeless
01/21/03 |
You've never been told you were beautiful
You're always acting way too skeptical
You say nobody will ever give you the time
You say you're not worth a dime
You're better than what you've never heard
You say the world is always treated you so absurd
You keep your head down low
Your face hiding so your eyes never show
You have big blue eyes that are never seen
You know that people can be so mean
You wear clothes that are bought from the good will
Your room painted in a shade of teal
You say because you always feel so blue
You don't know what else you can do
You gave up on the thought of feeling tall
You're so much better than them all
You tried way to hard to be cool
You don't know it, but you're beautiful
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